Catch (Coronado Series Book 4) Page 3

  She stared at him and then let go of her temper. “Chris, that’s rude. It’s not acceptable to ask me questions about where I’ve been. Dean was always quizzing me about my whereabouts, and I hated it. I can go wherever I want without explanation. I’m young and free. Well, as free as a person can be who has a crazy ex-boyfriend. Come to think of it, we were never really official. Which makes this situation suckier than it already is.”

  “I’m sorry. I was just making friendly conversation.”

  “Bullshit!”

  Well, that was one way of looking at it. “I’m worried about you. Why are you walking down the street half-naked?” He watched her cheeks grow red, realized that the last sentence might prove to be the nail in his coffin, and tried to backtrack. “What I meant to say is that you’re so pretty and that outfit shows off your amazing figure. I’m sure that lots of men might want to talk to you.” He was digging himself so deep that he was never going to see the light of day. He always said the wrong thing around her, but based on the look on her face…this might be really bad.

  “That makes perfect sense. I should dress as if I was Amish, because that way I won’t tempt anyone. A man shouldn’t be held responsible for his behavior. Really, it’s the women who are at fault, because men have no impulse control. It’s the old Adam and Eve story…it must be her fault. Poor Adam was just minding his own business. If you all are such animals, then maybe you should be put in a zoo. Because I, for one, am not responsible for men’s stupidity.”

  Yeah…he was never going to see the light of day. His lack of understanding of the female psyche was pretty evident right now. He could face a dozen terrorists with terrible odds and be successful. But he didn’t have a clue how to save this. “Rach, I’m sorry. I have no idea what to do.”

  “Oh, I do. Go home, because I’m not making you dinner tonight or any other night.” She started to roll her basket toward the entrance of her building and stopped at the door. “For your information, I was at yoga. I’m wearing clothes that are appropriate for yoga, and not one single person has bothered me. In fact, I had a lovely conversation with a gentleman, and he was completely able to control his behavior. I then went to the market and bought food for dinner. I’m disappointed, Chris, because I thought you were different.” She turned and walked into her building and let the door slam.

  “Fuck!” What was he going to do now?

  ***

  He hated to do it, but if was ever going to see Rach again, he was going to have to bite the bullet. In this case, it was going to be a big bullet. He parked in front of Max and Rory’s house and took a deep breath. Embrace the suck.

  He walked up to the front door and heard the twins yelling or babbling. He rang the bell and waited. This was going to be painful, but hopefully worth it.

  Rory answered the door and appeared surprised. “Hey, Chris. What’s up? Is Max expecting you?”

  “No. Sorry I didn’t call. I came over to talk to you.”

  “Me? Okay, come on in. I’m getting lunch ready for my darling monsters…I mean, children.” Alex and Gemma were sitting in their playpen, chewing on toys and babbling to one another. “Have a seat.”

  As his ass hit the cushions, it squeaked. Leaning over, he pulled out a rubber duck and readjusted himself. “Thanks for taking the time to talk to me.”

  “What do you need? You look awful.”

  “Thanks, Rory. I appreciate that. I just screwed up with Rachel, and I need you to fix it.”

  “Say that again, because I know I didn’t hear that right.”

  “I screwed up with Rachel, and I need your help.”

  “That’s what I thought you said. You actually spoke with her? All you’ve done for the last year is moon over her and follow her around. What happened and what did you do?”

  “I tried to help, and I think she took it the wrong way,” Chris replied.

  Rory held up her hand. “I need to call Birdie and have her come over to consult. I also need to make lunch for the twins. You sit here and have your mind numbed by the music. I’ll call Birdie and make lunch, and then we’ll fix this.”

  Chris nodded in agreement. He was willing to do anything as long as it helped him have another chance. He watched the twins play and let his mind run over all the mistakes that he’d made. He hoped like hell that they could fix this for him. He knew Birdie and Rory were pretty good at things like this, and he trusted they had the answer to his problems.

  Rory returned to the living room. “Birdie will be here in a few minutes. Help me get the kids into their chairs.”

  He lifted Gemma and was rewarded with a wet, sloppy hand on his face. He smiled into her sweet face and then dropped a kiss on her head. “Let’s hope your mom can work her magic for me.” He put Gemma in her chair, strapped her in, and sat down next to her. He heard the door fly open and watched Birdie stride in.

  “I’m here, and I am ready to fix this. What are we fixing?”

  She walked over to the table, kissed Rory and the twins, and stared at Chris. “What have you done?”

  Alex and Gemma started fussing, so Birdie hip-checked him out of the chair so she could help feed the twins. He knew that when a woman wanted you to move, it was a good idea to do it right away.

  “Start from ‘hello’ and don’t leave a thing out. You never know what’s going to be important,” Birdie ordered.

  As he watched the women feed the kids, he filled them in on every sad and sorry detail of the last twenty-four hours. They both listened closely and didn’t interrupt him to ask questions. Once he was done, they started speaking in Italian. They always did that when they wanted to speak only with one another. It made Mark and Max crazy, because the men could never figure out what they were up to. A feeling of dread crept down his spine as he waited for them to finish. They both smiled, and nodded their heads simultaneously. “So have you two come up with a plan?”

  “We do, in fact, have a brilliant plan, and we’ll tell you about it right after the babies have finished their lunch. It’s one of our more inspired ideas, and we feel confident that it’ll succeed,” Rory replied.

  “I hope so, because I’m putting all my future happiness in your hands.”

  Birdie smiled at him. “We expect nothing less. Don’t worry, Chris. This is going to work.”

  The twins finished eating or throwing food on the floor—he wasn’t sure which. The women cleaned them up, took them over to the couch, gave them their bottles, and considered Chris seriously. Rory glanced over at Birdie. “Do you want to start, or should I?”

  “You start, because you’re around them and know best,” Birdie responded.

  Rory nodded as if being accorded all the power one would give to a ruling head of state. Which wasn’t that far off, considering she ruled her world and anyone who came within one thousand feet of it.

  “Well, you screwed up. I’m going to translate what you said into what Rachel heard. Think of women as a second language, one that you don’t speak. It’ll make it much easier. I know you could probably invade a small country undetected and pull out seven hostages with no one being the wiser. But I’m not sure you have the set of skills that is going to get you a date with this woman. Just because you’re good at one thing doesn’t mean you are good at anything else,” Rory said.

  “When you insulted Rachel’s clothes and suggested that she wasn’t fit to go out in public, you pretty much sealed your fate. You may never say anything about what a woman wears unless it’s a compliment. You must also never question where she’s been unless you are being paid to be her bodyguard. And even then, I wouldn’t suggest it,” Birdie added.

  Chris pretended to understand. “If you just give me clear instructions, I’m sure I can fix this.”

  Birdie patted his knee and gave him a sympathetic smile. “It’s important to believe.”

  He didn’t think that was a good sign. “It mostly fell apart after I insulted her clothes. I wasn’t actually insulting her clothes. I was, in a way, comp
limenting them. I don’t think she should walk around in those yoga pants because she’s way too pretty and sexy. I don’t think men should be able to look at her when she wears those.”

  “What you’re saying is that other men shouldn’t be able to see her…only you?”

  “How honest do I have to be when I answer that?”

  Rory shook her head. “You just did. What is it about yoga pants that have men so crazy? Women think of them as comfy sweatpants, and men see them as something completely different. Max hates it when I wear them and one of the guys shows up here.”

  Chris was starting to feel better about himself, because clearly, he wasn’t the only one who felt this way. The difference was that Max was married and Chris hadn’t even really been on a date. “They’re sexy pants, not sweatpants, and I’m surprised that you can’t tell the difference.”

  Birdie and Rory glared at Chris and shook their heads simultaneously. “Don’t say things like that, Chris. You’re never going to be able to get away with it,” Rory said.

  He crossed his arms over his chest in frustration. “Fine. I’m still going to think it.”

  Rory laughed. “Just keep those thoughts in your head and don’t let them come out of your mouth. Okay, here’s the plan. I’m going to invite Rachel over for lunch tomorrow, and you’re going to be working out with Max when she arrives. I’ll invite you to stay for lunch, and that will give you the opportunity to charm her. Just remember to bring a change of clothes. Birdie and I will do our best to plead your case, but the rest is up to you.”

  Birdie lifted Gemma up to her shoulder and patted her back. “I think the working-out part is brilliant. Her physical response will overpower her brain long enough for Chris to apologize.”

  Gemma finally let out a burp worthy of a sailor, and Birdie turned her around and sat her on her lap. They both stared at him, and he swore he saw of look of disapproval in the baby’s face.

  “Why do I have to be working out?” Chris asked.

  “Because you have a great body, and Rachel needs to see that. Seeing you all pumped and sweaty will make her hormones wake up and pay attention. We need to get her hormones on your side, because you totally screwed up with the mind-and-heart part. We’re going to have to go for her more base instincts and see if that works.”

  “So she can objectify me and I can’t objectify her?”

  “Pretty much. I hope you didn’t think this was going to be fair?” Birdie asked.

  “No, of course not.”

  “I’m a married woman with children, and it still works on me,” Rory said. “When Max is in trouble, he goes into the backyard without a shirt and cuts something down or digs something up. It never fails because when I see him shirtless, I’m putty in his hands. I know it’s shallow, but I don’t care. Sometimes I just need to get over myself and remember that my husband is the hottest man around and I’m a lucky woman.”

  “I had no idea,” Chris replied.

  Birdie patted his leg again. “Now you do, so use it to your advantage.”

  Mark walked in at that moment and saw Birdie patting Chris’s knee and wondered if he should be worried.

  “Hi, ladies. What should Chris use to his advantage?” He watched Birdie turn around, and her face lit up when she saw him.

  “Hi, honey. We’re fixing his love life. Isn’t it fantastic? Now I know why he refused all my matches this last year. I haven’t lost my touch after all.”

  Mark sat next to his wife and kissed her gently. “Baby, you know that everyone isn’t interested in being matched up. Sometimes, things just have to take their natural course.”

  “Yes, the natural course that I set. Nobody has protested when I try to match them up,” Birdie replied.

  Mark took Gemma from his wife and bounced her gently on his knee as he decided how truthful he needed to be. Some of the guys had asked him to get Birdie to back off, and he hadn’t done it yet. Matchmaking made her happy. Hell with it. The guys could just live with her matchmaking. “You’re right, sweetheart. You just keep matching.”

  Birdie leaned over and kissed her husband as she smiled in approval.

  Chris knew that a lot of the guys had pleaded with Mark to intervene and get Birdie to leave them alone. He now knew that was never going to happen, because Birdie’s happiness was the most important thing in the world to Mark.

  Chris began to understand that both Max and Mark wanted their wives to be happy above all else. They would do anything to keep them that way, and it seemed like the women did the same thing. That’s why they were so damn cheerful all the time. Chris had been a total hard-ass with Rachel, and she threw him to the curb. He clearly needed to try something completely different. Maybe this was the right approach.

  Rory stood up with Alex. “I’ll call Rachel and have her come around one. You and Max can start working out around twelve thirty. I’m going to put the twins down for a nap, so I’ll see you tomorrow. I think this is going to work.”

  Birdie got up and followed Rory with Gemma in her arms, and the two of them started speaking in Italian again. Which meant that he and Mark were not supposed to listen.

  Mark gave Chris a hard look. “I hope you’re ready for whatever is coming. When those two are on a mission, they don’t let anything get in their way.”

  “I don’t care what I have to do. I screwed up with Rachel, and they’re going to help me fix it.”

  Max walked in, studied both men in his living room, and wondered what the hell was going on. “What did I miss?”

  “Sorry, boss.”

  “What are you sorry for?” Max asked.

  “I asked Rory to help me with a problem, and she called Birdie, and I think you’re part of the plan, too. I wouldn’t have asked if I wasn’t desperate.”

  “Is this about Rachel? You’ve been mooning over that girl for a year.”

  “Shit, is it that obvious? I thought I was being low-key,” Chris responded.

  “Rory told me, so that’s how I know. What’s my part in my wife’s latest scheme?”

  “Rory is inviting Rachel over for Sunday lunch, and we’re going to be working out when she gets here. I’m supposed to look pumped up and sweaty. Rory said it will shut down her thinking brain and activate her primal brain. It’s supposed to give me a small window of opportunity to apologize again. In the meantime, Rory and Birdie are going to be plead my case.”

  “Okay, let’s do a run first. That way I can get my workout done for the day. Mark, you’re part of this, too, so I expect to see you here for a workout.”

  “Tomorrow is my only day off. I was going to spend it in bed with my wife.”

  “Now you’re spending it with us. Birdie is part of this plan, which makes you part of this plan,” Max responded.

  Chris looked at both men. “Thanks for helping me out.”

  Max laughed and clapped him on the shoulder. “No need for thanks. This is just part of the brotherhood.”

  CHAPTER FOUR

  Rachel hoped that Rory wasn’t going to try to sing the praises of Chris to her. She loved her boss, but she was a little overbearing and relentless once an idea entered her mind. She never let it go until she saw it through to completion.

  As she pulled up in front of their house, she noticed Birdie coming down the street with a big bowl in her hands. Getting out of the car, she called hi and pulled her own bowl out of the car. “Hey, Birdie. How are you?”

  “Hi, Rachel. I’m good. What did you bring today?”

  “I brought my artichoke salad. I hope it goes with what Rory’s making.”

  “It sounds perfect. I made a roasted potato salad.” Birdie held the gate as Rachel stepped through. “I’m sorry to hear about what happened to you on Friday.”

  “How did you hear?” Rachel asked.

  “Chris called Max, and Max told Rory, and she told me. This is a small group, and it doesn’t take long for intel to get passed along.”

  “Why did Chris call Max?”

  “I thi
nk he wanted to let him know that he was going to the warehouse to pull stuff to install at your condo. Did he get it all done yesterday?”

  “No, we had a disagreement, and I sent him on his way.”

  “What did he do? Act all caveman on you?”

  “How did you know?”

  “I’m married to one. If these guys feel that anyone or anything is going to harm what’s theirs, they go a little crazy. Just imagine an average guy, multiply that by one thousand, and you have a SEAL. Retired or not, that’s how it is. If someone is messing with their world, they react the same way they did when they were deployed. It just all sits there under the surface. They try to act normal, but it doesn’t last for long. How bad was Chris?”

  “Pretty bad. He insulted my clothes.”

  Birdie stopped on the steps. “What an idiot. Well, I’m sure you can train him.”

  “Why would I want to do that?” Rachel asked.

  “Because you two like each other. That man has refused every single one of my matchmaking suggestions for the last year. If I had known he was waiting for you, I could’ve directed my attention elsewhere. I know a lot of men who need my help, whether they see it or not.”

  Rory opened the door. “Hi, ladies. Come in.” She led them to the kitchen and took their bowls. “Unfortunately, the guys are still working out. I don’t know why they’re so late today. Anyway, lunch will be ready in about forty-five minutes. Let’s get something to drink and sit in the backyard. I have the babies in their playpen under the tree.”

  The ladies made their way to the patio and beheld the amazing view. “Garden of the Gods,” Birdie muttered.

  “Amen,” responded Rory. As they stood admiring the men, Rory decided it was the perfect moment to make her speech. “They’re good men, and when you see them like this, it’s easy to remember that they’re trained warriors. Probably the most feared in the world. They’re men who’ve spent their lives protecting and serving, and that never leaves them. I’m not saying that Chris behaving badly is okay. I’m just suggesting that he had good intentions and lousy execution.” Rory glanced over at Rachel and smiled. She noticed that she was mesmerized by Chris and knew that her plan had worked.